salli

Poetry

A few years ago, & for a few years, a wonderful woman named Salli Ritch-Smith lived at my house. She helped me with my kids, she reassured me when I cried about my books, when I thought no publisher would ever buy them. She read every word I wrote, and my characters were as real to her as they are to me. When we went to Arizona a few months before she died, she would point out a yucca plant that Cora had picked in Free Falling, & we would laugh about our favorite scene. She listened to every dream I had, & she believed in every one - no matter how silly, no matter how far-fetched. I think that's because she believed in me, & she was filled with love. She accepted people and really, all living things, & all cultures, in a way that not many people exhibit. She never interfered, but she knew what was happening in my life.  I always wonder if she knew that sometimes my heart ached, & sometimes I felt lonely. She never said. I wish I could talk to her often now, & now she is gone. A while ago, her son gave me a book of poetry that she had written over the years. In it, I saw her own heartaches and dreams, and a little bit of what she was. I saw that she had heartaches and grief and love, and that we were alike in ways I hadn't known when she was alive. All that time, she had been writing. Long before I ever dared myself, she was writing. I didn't know that at the time, but I know it now.

My greatest dream has always been to live some sort of Bohemian life, where poets come & go, where they leave little tendrils of who they were, like little clouds that take a shape that you recognize, a shape that you know, & then if they fade away, they will leave something of themselves behind. And they would be free to write & to love & to be who it is they really are, untarnished by doubt & unfettered by what the regular world says should be. When I am very sad, it comforts me to know there was someone who knew that all along.

fmn

 

You mustn't mind our being lost like this;
The weather can't be keeping you,
Even if the rains blew harder than
A hurricane, you'd come, you'd circle
Round and save us if you tried. . .
Champion oarsman, strong swimmer that you are.
Maybe you cannot see our plight
From fathoms down in your own dark night
(surely you could see us if you surfaced once or twice.)
Well, the tide will change,
Will make that distant island closer.
It may be from there we'd have
A clearer view of who is really drowning
Off Eggomoggin Reach,
It may be you.

 

When I come here again. . .
I'll bring the inland wind to stay the pull of islands on my mind
-I'll anchor down my feet in solid soil
when I come here again

I'll sing and dance, but when I do
The music that I hear will be from other places, other times
-music of the buzz of bees in dark, red buckwheat fields
and of the wail of winter wind in Northern pines
when I come here again

I'll bring the sound of lilting, lapping
Water from the edges of a long remembered dream
-a Northern lake where I was born and bore my own. . .

And if I cannot moor myself to that
I will not come here again. . .

 

Winter:
Is a force without motion
Except in that sometimes at dusk
The long purple shadows change
The black etched treeline into
Unfamiliar shapes
And the whole, still landscape
Moves into an uncertain dimension.

Spring:
Is a season of light
Of movement
The Northwest wind carries in it
The smell of summer
And the hearts of old men at the
Fishing hole quicken.

Summer:
Is a broad, flat still time
That asks nothing.

Fall:
Is a wind tumbled gathering
Of leaves and seeds and loves
And hopes falling downward.

 

The Northern sky is purple & the trees in this midwinter light are
etched in black,
but the light from the quickly setting sun fades in the face
of the approaching storm.
The young micmac woman banks the fire in her small house,
pours a cup of tea and settles into a chair close to a stove.
She thinks about her mate who left in the early morning darkness,
She worries about the snow, beating hard against the windows.
She remembers his promise to her this morning,
to return from his traplines with the silver fox he had been tracking.
She imagines the feel of the fox's fur agains ther cheek and thinks of the way it
would look lining the hood of the parka she has been beading and quilling.
Her mate would tease her,
tell her that she was so beautiful in it
that Glooscap's brother would steal her.
But she feels it, too, the quick snap of steel around the fox's leg,
like her mate's strong legs around her own,
and she sighs with resultant weight
with the fourth child within her.
Suddenly, the dreamy reverie is broken by the honk of the Great Goose.
The silence is scattered by her dropped tea cup as she darts out of the door,
hoping for, at most, a clear sighting of the goose. . .
but she encounters claws, swirls of feathery white, close in around her.
Icy, yellow eyes glare at her, distorting her vision of the Great Goose.
As the roar subsides, the need to see the goose penetrates her fear and
she opens her eyes and takes her hand from her ears.
She is brought back
by the hearty laughter of her mate,
astride his Snowmobile,
with his silver fox slung over the seat behind him.

arizona

In the spring before she died, we travelled together to Arizona. I took this picture.

 

path

 

books bio lord of the rings
dorchester
sable oak
links